Like my kids, your kids probably share the bounty of your daily job.  Therefore, kids should be contributing something to the family, reducing some of your work.  No parent should be doing all the work for the family.

From a young age, kids should be helping around the house.  Kids should be taking out the garbage.  No child should leave the kitchen before the dishes are done.  Every kid should learn to dust properly.  This is good for your child, as it teaches him or her skills and allows her to understand that a family works together.

If your older child is home before you, he or she should be responsible for a portion of supper.  Put something in the oven, pare potatoes, and set the table.  He can help make your life easier.  He or she will be learning life skills while fulfilling his responsibility.

It’s never too early to teach your kids empathy and sharing. By the time your child understands a gift, he or she can learn to give to a child less fortunate.  Believe me, no matter how bad you think you have it, someone else has it worse.

Before Christmas, plant the sharing seed.  Explain how other children have less than your family. Explain it very simply.   No matter how small, tell your child she  or he is going to give something to another boy or girl.  It could be a toy she is willing to give away; it could be a pack of gum.  What is given is not the important. What’s important is the value of giving.

Children who give, understand a world bigger than themselves.

Our kids have always been a part of giving.  The best giving was when a child would be outfitted with winter gear.  At that point my son was grown.  He and I had so much fun picking out the entire outfit, with his input being style for the little boy.  That’s the spirit of Christmas.

In the classroom, there was always a Christmas project.  I would collect food, used coats, gently used toys and money. There were a variety of projects throughout the years.    Dimes, pennies and nickels added up unbelievably.  At the end of every project, I would provide a party for the kids.  Every kid felt a sense of satisfaction when giving.  Even if the kid could donate no more than the pennies he found in the car seat, felt an incredible pride.

When was the last time you had a conversation in which you looked your child in the eye?  That connection conveys the seriousness of your words.  Eye contact also shows that nothing else is more important than your child at that moment. That is very powerful.                      The supper table allows that very important connection.                                                                                                                       Knowing you have to face your parent on a regular basis, makes you think twice about doing bad things.  

Kids need down time.  Whether it’s after school or after homework at night, kids need time to decompress.

With the Common Core, your child is working harder than ever!  After a long day of studying, he or she needs to blow off steam.

Younger kids should play. They should be outside running, jumping, riding the bike, just playing.   Older kids should also ride a bike, skateboard, run, they need exercise as well.  Encourage safe play over couch potato activity.

For at least one hour a day, Junior should be allowed to just be a kid again.

There is always that teacher in the hallway that insists on rules and protocol.  No matter how fun that person is, the only thing a kid sees is that teacher’s insistence on the rules.  That old hag in the hallway was I!

Yep!  Belts needed to be above the butt cheeks.  The hoochie mama outfit needed to be, pulled up, pulled down, and buttoned up.  AND – PDA nearly made me barf.  So at one point, when my words fell on 9^th grade deaf ears, I made it visual for those whose hormones blocked out my voice.   On construction paper, I drew red lips in a red circle with a big red line thru them and posted them in the hallway.  With the 14 year olds wrapped in each others’ arms, giving their send off kisses, I’d also tell them, “You’re not going off to war, just a 40 min. class.”  Frankly, I was dumfounded with the few kids who did not understand the concept of appropriate behavior.   The reaction of my own students was funny.  They just smiled, shook their heads and took their seats.

Obviously, my age and attitude was setting myself apart from my colleagues.  So, I named myself T-Rex.  I was the resident T-Rex because I was the oldest and meanest teacher in the hallway.

The best part of all of this was the reaction of the other students who knew how to be appropriate.  They enjoyed the T-Rex.  They teased me about the signs, they laughed about my reaction to the “fashion” of a few kids.  Don’t get me wrong. I love high fashion.  I love to see kids dress in their individual style.  To that, I have no reaction.  But the T-Rex does not want to see underwear. That’s the point.  Underwear is meant to be under.

Now I find out the T-Rex is not the oldest.  This morning’s paper shows I had a predecessor.  Dang!  I’ve been trumped!  There has been a dino find in Utah.  So, any educator who teaches more than 30 years, 3 months and demands the best of a young person can aptly name herself,  siats meekerorum.  I will happily bow to that person.

Oh, and that kid making out in the 9^th grade?  Well,  by 12^th grade, he or she would  laugh about my reaction to the kissing and admit it may not have been the right behavior for the busy hallway.

A set time of the evening should be dedicated to studies!  This is non-negotiable.

Successful students will discipline themselves when it comes to studying.  It’s intrinsic.  

Reluctant students need a structured time.   They need to be compelled to study.  However, by high school you may not know if your child has done all his school work.  Regular communication with the school will let you know if schoolwork is being completed.  Most schools will alert you, but it is your responsibility to be up to date with your child’s progress.

If your child is not completing his homework, you will need to provide consequences for Junior’s lack of effort.  Ultimately it’s your responsibility to “inspire” him to do his work.   If you think about it, he’s trying to beat you at his game.  You need to win this one.  If he can con you, academic success will likely be low. 

During the school week, kids should be home after school.

The only reason to be out on a school night is a sport or sanctioned activities. Running the streets or hanging on the corner is not good for a child. He or she will soon find something to fill the boredom, and likely it won’t be a good activity.  Those hours at home will leave no excuse for not doing homework.  This time also allows the older children to help out with chores.  Being home reminds a kid that he has work to do.  …and YES, teens should have work to do.  Reserve overnight stays for the weekends. 

Remember, this blog is about helping your child be his or her personal best, especially when it comes to his or her education.

Here goes, Rule #1,  Bedtime.

Nighttime signals sleep.  If you notice, nature shuts the lights.  Even God’s creatures have a pattern of rest so they can conquer their world. No matter what shift nature has, it has a rest period.  So, let’s take our cue from nature.

A rested body is he essential to learning.  Period.  If there is one thing you can do or your child, it’s to insist on rest.  Now, interestingly, what bedtime meant to us, and what it means to today’s teen is quite different.  We didn’t have nearly the distractions.

Today, humans are not so inclined to rest. Some of us, especially kids fight sleep.  To make it worse, the world no longer shuts off.  T.V. is 24/7, electronics are at the ready and phones are addictive.  The role of the parent at nighttime is bigger than ever.  Parents have to teach their children how to recharge their bodies. When the sun sets, we should prime our kids for sleep.

Some kids have their days and nights mixed up.  Last year a student told me he’d play video games at night, get to sleep at 4:00 am, get up for school, go home take a four hour nap, then start that cycle again.  Invariably, these students have poor study habits and low or failing grades.  Their absences were usually high.

At night all kids should have a stop time, no phones, TV, or computer.  Period! Kids are addicted to electronics, so parents must put a stop to them at some time in the evening.  Everything must stop for a kid to get sleep.

The biggest addition, yet easiest electronic to control at night is the phone.  Whether you know it or not, kids are texting throughout the night.  To stop this, simply take the phone out of the bedroom at night.  As the parent, you have that power.  If you don’t have that power yet, it’s really time to start.  I’m sure you’re paying for the phone, so it’s yours and your child is using it. It’s a privilege.

Here’s the deal. Even if your child doesn’t text in the night, some other kid does and let’s be honest.  Who can’t resist a text?  I know I can’t.

Every high school kid should have lights, phone, TV, computer out by 11:00. They need 7-8 solid hours of rest.  The younger kids need more.

A rested body is best able to conquer the world. The best students have regular sleep patterns.  If animals can understand the need for rest, then I’m pretty certain parents can.

Somehow, it’s become old fashioned to have rules.  By trying to make the word ‘rule’ seem less harsh, we ruin the positive intent of the word.  So I’m going to simply call these 5 essentials, rules.  In my ancient world, rules imply a no-nonsense, good for the order intent.  AND, anything which helps your child be his best should be called a rule.  Good gosh, that was long winded.  Moving on…

In the upcoming weeks, I will provide a list of 5 weekday parenting ‘musts’/rules.  One rule will be posted per week to allow time to ponder the idea and hopefully put the rule in place.   These rules are tried and true, not new, but largely forgotten in our busy worlds.

Coming up.   Sleep is essential to learning.

Please remember, I only know this stuff because I’ve taught for 30 years, and have learned by my own mistakes.  Plus, I’ve decided this blog will be less formal.  Parenting is hard enough, why not have some humor.   See you in a few days!

The child, who attends school regularly, is likely to succeed.  A chronically absent student spends so much time catching up on studies she missed; her chance of mastering any of the current material is pretty low.  Sadly, this child never experiences a solid, educational footing.   And whose fault is that child’s attendance?  It’s the parent’s fault.  As the adult in charge, a parent is expected to provide the inspiration to get the child to school.

Here’s the most ridiculous part.  Given the new standards, the teacher is now evaluated on the ineffective parenting.  In other words, if the kid does not come to school, and thus preforms poorly, that teacher’s evaluation is negatively impacted.  That is a huge injustice.

School counselors, principals and teachers are now spending hours a day coaching parents in ways to get their kids to school.  How does the school have the time to teach academics when they are also teaching parents to parent?

AND, as always, if there is a problem in school, the parent must address it with the district.

***Holy Moley is always interested in your feedback.  Feel free to ask questions as well. ***