“You hold the key to your child’s personal best.” (Mary Moley-Palacios, 2013)
With all the current state and federal mandates, education is more difficult for kids. With good parental guidance, and even outside guidance, kids will achieve their best outcomes.
Feel free to send questions concerning your own strategies. I will be happy to respond.
“I had to love my child enough to let her hate me.” (Carol Burnett)
I am proud to say, these three parents were my 8th grade students and are now my friends. Not only do I love them for being terrific people, I admire the type of parents they’ve become. I am proud to showcase good parenting, with their permission of course.
~ Several life-changing events forced Monica to uproot her children. To make up for this, she indulged them, allowing them to partake in multiple activities. Soon, Monica and her husband Enzo discovered their family time was being lost to the kids’ schedules.
Monica said,”
“The kids monopolizing every day of the week seems CRAZY!!! Enzo and I realize we have been negotiating with terrorists and letting the inmates run the asylum!” (I’m still laughing at Monica’s comment)
Realizing the imbalance, Monica and Enzo quickly reined in the indulgences. The children had to make a choice. One extra curricular along with schoolwork was a better balance. Focusing a little less on the two children, gave the family of four a more cohesive base. Monica and Enzo handled this situation with clarity and humor. The best part, the kids survived. Impressive!
~Anita knew her son was intelligent, but Avery’s grades were not reflecting his ability. After a year of poor grades and issues in the classroom, Anita decided to take action. At the beginning of the next school year, Anita adjusted her work schedule to help Avery improve his skills.
Anita, who worked from home, snagged Avery the minute he got off the bus. She immediately sat him at the kitchen table, reserving an hour to his homework. This dedicated time improved his self-discipline, his schoolwork and thus positively impacted his classroom success. Avery’s world was righted.
Anita was able to change her work schedule to help Avery. Not everyone can stop work mid-day, but every parent, regardless of work hours, can dedicate undivided time to his or her child. It is important to your child’s success.
Monica, Enzo and Anita allowed their kids to be disappointed, angry or maybe resentful, knowing the outcome would be positive. It’s called being the adults, specifically being good parents.
Not all circumstances are remedied this easily, but the point is to find the source of the problem and take corrective matters in your own hands. You must be consistent. I am the first one to say it’s tough when you’re working, but you must stick to program and follow through no matter how tired you are.
Nearly every kid begins going down a wrong path. Don’t be surprised. That’s what kids do when they’re testing waters. You simply have to jump ahead of them and guide them back on the right track. But here’s the kicker. Do not wait to correct wrong behavior. The longer you wait, the bigger the task you’ll have.
Parents, who tenderly guide their children from the beginning, most likely have an easier job of parenting as the kids grow. It’s easier to trim a sapling than a tree.
The only way to broach this next topic is in the negative. I rewrote this passage a dozen times, but to write from the positive angle, only candy coats the issue. Simply put: by indulging children, parents may be making that child socially unacceptable.
Stark and sad, but true. Here’s how it shakes out:
Frankie comes to kindergarten having been allowed to do what he wants, when he wants. He doesn’t know how to wait his turn, share, or work in a group. He doesn’t sit still. When he’s tired of the lesson, he gets up and does his own thing. He screams when he’s expected to come off the playground. If really agitated, he throws himself on the ground, stopping the entire lesson. Given these behaviors, Frankie is always in trouble.
Like it or not, the kids think, “Frankie’s a bad boy”. From the earliest age, little kids learn, if you do not behave, “you’re being bad”. Now, why is Frankie a bad boy in the minds of his peers? Because Frankie’s mom/dad, or ‘the parent unit’ as it’s now called, did not teach the social skills required for the school setting. Every day, poor little Frank must either sit in time out, can’t play with the others at playtime, or has to have a quiet discussion with the teacher. There is no doubt Frankie’s the topic of conversation in his classmates’ homes nightly. Before you know it, Frankie is known as the bad boy, so he’s not invited to birthday parties, sleepovers or play dates. He’s only known as the bad boy. How unfair to set a kid up for social failure.
In the short run, allowing a child to do what he wants, when he wants, may be easy, but the consequences for not taking the leadership role as a parent presents many difficulties for the child later on.
Now, I know some of you want to label it ADHD. Well, frankly, that may be true; however, a parent must attempt to teach social skills before that diagnosis can be discussed.
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