family time

Mealtime Benefits – Answer

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Mealtime is so much more than filling the belly.

For many of us, serving bowls of our favorite foods are imprinted on our souls.The supper table showed someone cared enough to make sure our stomachs were filled, and in the process, our spirit was renewed.

All the benefits of the supper table may shock you.

While food feeds the body and soul, the table itself plays an impressive role in forming our personalities and place in the world.

Prepare to be impressed by that simple table.

 Your place at the table means you are in integral part of a family, a community, a thriving unit.  You fill the circle.  You’re needed at that table for that circle to be complete.  When your seat is empty, you’re missed!   This is the same whether your table is five people or two.

The set table teaches that everything in life has structure.  You learn there’s a specific way of doing everything.  The table is set appropriate to a standard and it’s good to learn the standard first.  When you have the occasional casual meal, it’s fun, a treat.

Tasty food.   This not only fills your stomach, it touches the heart, fills the soul and lifts your spirit.

Dinnertime talk.   It’s here that you learn your thoughts are important.  Bouncing ideas from one person to the other allows bigger plans, finer thoughts, goals for the future.

You listen.  This teaches respect of others and their opinions, tolerance.

You must to sit.  This teaches self-control. This is important for school.

You’re mannerly.  “Manners are the quality of the heart.”  Manners elevate you.

You cooperate.  As you pass the platters and bowls, you’re exchanging for the good of the whole.  Every moment of your life outside the house requires this skill.

Say a prayer or a comment of gratitude.  This wakes us to our blessings.

Meal Duties Whoever gets home first starts supper. I got home before Mom and you bet there was a note for me to ‘peal’ potatoes, put roast in, whatever needed done to help expedite dinnertime.  Gosh, I hated those notes!  I wanted to be lazy.  Mom wouldn’t allow that!

EVERYONE cleans the kitchen before life in the house resumes.  Even a three year old can bring the napkins to the garbage.  If kids can feed themselves, they can have a role in cleanup. Growing up on a farm however, the kitchen was the girls’ job because the boys did the farm chores.  As long as the workload is fair, it’s good.

 The Meal

Food should be mostly favorites.  The food does not need to be fancy.  Your supper menu should be a draw.  It’s in our DNA to be excited for our family foods.  Make the things your kids like.  Sometimes the meal is not as popular as expected.  There were rare times when what I cooked was not a crowd pleaser.  So what?  I let them have cereal.  My husband did not like it, but it was not a battle I found that important.  Believe me, our kids learned to eat everything.  Supper should be a pleasant time.  Make it that way.

Sometimes I adjusted the menu for the kids.   We love our macaroni.  However, our kids preferred butter macaroni, so there was one bowl of butter macaroni for the kids and macaroni with sauce for the adults.  Our kids didn’t like tomatoes in the salad, so they didn’t have to eat the tomatoes in the salad, just the lettuce and cucumbers.

There are a few rules.  If the kids do not eat supper, there is no dessert, no snacks.  Just cover the plate, put it on the stove and when they’re hungry, they’ll eat.  No junk food until.

Another thing, don’t make the kid stay at the table ‘until the plate’s cleaned’.  When supper’s over, clean up and move on.  Most kids can survive a night of stubbornness, going to bed hungry.

Phones off, even adults!  Suppertime is sacred time.  It’s only 30-45 minutes.

What about the nights of sports and lessons?  Well, frankly, if it’s only a few nights of the week that you toss a pizza in the backseat as you chauffer the kids around, it’s fine.   But if it’s most of the week, I will ask one question.  In the end, will this running reap the benefits you desire for your child?

You can take this one to the bank!  Your kids will realize the importance of the supper table years later.  Most of your children’s, family stories will come from that table.

****The following anecdote demands telling.****

When our children were very little, my family experienced a deadly, traffic accident.  I needed to travel from NY to California to retrieve my gravely, injured mother.  Gone for several days, my husband took over the duties without skipping a beat and one was cooking, something he never did.  One meal was Hamburger Helper.  The kids had never had it and they loved it!  Thinking I had a new favorite, I tried to make it after.  You know, I could never duplicate that meal. It was never as good as Dad’s.

As I reflect, I realize, it wasn’t the dish that so appealed to their hunger.   It was their Dad’s ability to provide the normalcy at that table when their world was upside down.   That meal meant a portion of their life was still normal, safe, secure.

You kitchen table will be the glue that holds your family together.

 So what’s on the menu?  Hot dogs and mac and cheese, of course!  Chicken fingers, fries?  Go for it.   Just not every day of the week.  Please be mindful of health.  Kids like corn, cucumbers, celery, and carrots.  Expose them to all veggies.  Do your best to have them try just one bite of something new.

Here are a few easy Palacios favorites:

Two-Hour Chicken.  On Sunday, put a double serving of whole chicken pieces in the oven at 250 degrees for two hours, salted/pepper/garlic.  After first hour, put in the potatoes to bake.  At the end of the two hours the chicken will be falling off the bone.

Sunday dinner will be the baked chicken and baked potatoes.

When the chicken is cool, debone chicken.

Cream Chicken. Tomorrow, you’ll make a white cream sauce with 2% milk; add a chicken bouillon cube, a can of corn and chicken.  I serve over this recipe over toast points. This is our kids’ absolute favorite meal of all time.    This is a 15-minute meal after a long workday.

EASY Beef.  When you leave for work, put a whole, frozen, chuck steak in a pan, season as you like, cover with foil and leave on 175-200 degrees for the entire day.  When you get home the meat will be falling off the bone and a ton of juice.  Make gravy and have a portion of the meat with gravy.  Tomorrow shred the meat and have tacos.  Easy and family favorites!

 

Impressive Parenting!

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 “I had to love my child enough to let her hate me.”  (Carol Burnett)

 I am proud to say, these three parents were my 8th grade students and are now my friends.  Not only do I love them for being terrific people, I admire the type of parents they’ve become. I am proud to showcase good parenting, with their permission of course.

~ Several life-changing events forced Monica to uproot her children.  To make up for this, she indulged them, allowing them to partake in multiple activities.   Soon, Monica and her husband Enzo discovered their family time was being lost to the kids’ schedules.

Monica said,”

“The kids monopolizing every day of the week seems CRAZY!!!  Enzo and I realize we have been negotiating with terrorists and letting the inmates run the asylum!”  (I’m still laughing at Monica’s comment)

 Realizing the imbalance, Monica and Enzo quickly reined in the indulgences.  The children had to make a choice.  One extra curricular along with schoolwork was a better balance.   Focusing a little less on the two children, gave the family of four a more cohesive base.  Monica and Enzo handled this situation with clarity and humor.  The best part, the kids survived.  Impressive!

 ~Anita knew her son was intelligent, but Avery’s grades were not reflecting his ability.  After a year of poor grades and issues in the classroom, Anita decided to take action.  At the beginning of the next school year, Anita adjusted her work schedule to help Avery improve his skills.

 Anita, who worked from home, snagged Avery the minute he got off the bus.  She immediately sat him at the kitchen table, reserving an hour to his homework.   This dedicated time improved his self-discipline, his schoolwork and thus positively impacted his classroom success.  Avery’s world was righted. 

 Anita was able to change her work schedule to help Avery.  Not everyone can stop work mid-day, but every parent, regardless of work hours, can dedicate undivided time to his or her child.  It is important to your child’s success. 

 Monica, Enzo and Anita allowed their kids to be disappointed, angry or maybe resentful, knowing the outcome would be positive.  It’s called being the adults, specifically being good parents.

 Not all circumstances are remedied this easily, but the point is to find the source of the problem and take corrective matters in your own hands.   You must be consistent.  I am the first one to say it’s tough when you’re working, but you must stick to program and follow through no matter how tired you are.

Nearly every kid begins going down a wrong path. Don’t be surprised.  That’s what kids do when they’re testing waters.  You simply have to jump ahead of them and guide them back on the right track.   But here’s the kicker.  Do not wait to correct wrong behavior.  The longer you wait, the bigger the task you’ll have. 

Parents, who tenderly guide their children from the beginning, most likely have an easier job of parenting as the kids grow.  It’s easier to trim a sapling than a tree.