Spend your extra money on family experiences instead of closet clutter. Years later, as your grandchildren join your supper table, the discussions will center around fun the family had together. Few future discussions have to do with the ‘stuff’ we bought for the kids.
Do it old school. Ditch the electronics. Everyone will survive.
If you’re really lucky, one of your ‘sweet’ children will bring up an embarrassing portion of that special day.
God Bless your family.
If I hadn’t heard this myself, I might not believe it.
I struck up a conversation with a young, inter-city, occupational therapist. Reflecting on her early career, she was quick to say, “Mothers are working so hard surviving, they can’t teach their children to walk and talk.”
(Thought bubble)
WHAAAA??,
Did I hear this right?
Nooooo … nooo
Miss Occupational Therapist went on to explain how … “poor people cannot teach their children the simplest things, because they are overcome with the job of living.”
My head was reeling.
(Thought bubble)
~simmer down Mary, she’s young and idealistic
~Angela’s Ashes, the poorest mothers of all, leading their kids through devastating poverty
~ there’s no greater joy than witnessing your child’s ‘firsts’, especially when one has so little
~ this girl is a nice lady ~ she means well
~Do I I?
~ Don’t I?
Nope!
I refuse to perpetuate this lousy excuse for neglectful parenting.
THEN, I calmly replied.
“Bull$hit!” “It’s lazy parenting and there is no excuse.”
I have to say, her response was interesting. She did not argue, in fact it seemed like a tiny flicker of thought was fueled. She smiled a bit and quietly replied, “Yes, if I do that job again, I’ll likely have a different perspective, now that I’m a mom.”
Here’s a stark reality. No matter a person’s economic place, a true parent understands the importance of giving his or her children every possible advantage. A true parent celebrates walking and talking. These skills show future potential. All of this is free to boot! Each family also has a cultural uniqueness, which should be taught and celebrated. Not teaching a child the most fundamental skills is plain and simple neglect. Poverty is no excuse.
Pathetically, society is currently teaching a generation of parents that if they are incompetent long enough, the government will make parenting, house calls. There was a time when being a neglectful parent was seen as a negative. It still should be.
A loving faith is the best foundation for every family. That faith guides children on their paths in life, especially in school. Families who live a loving faith teach the positive principals that meld perfectly with society, beginning in school.
School adjustment is much easier when children live the tenets: kindness, service, and love. Your child’s faith foundation will help him accept other children who are different from himself. A child does not need to preoccupy himself with hating his peers. That only detracts from his own education.
Now, I am not referring to ‘holy rolling’ religion. In fact, I’ve found parents and churches that scream fire and brimstone are usually short lived. The faith to which I refer is constant, soft in its approach. It whispers ‘no’ in bad situations. It’s the thank you at supper and at night, before bed.
What a gift to give your child! Something that inspires humanity, cancels out hopelessness, can be accessed anywhere and is free. Faith is the one solace of sending your child into the world.
As I reflect on my career, every student I ever taught, who was raised with God and His principles, was teachable, regardless of those defiant teen years. Each had the ability to recognize negative qualities as undesirable and thus be willing to change for the better.
God Bless your family, Mary
your children. Almost every productive member of society is a product of good parenting, rich or poor. I say ‘almost’ because there are a few adults who had lousy parents. However, they still pay attention to social norms and become great adult.
It’s normal that kids push for adult privileges. It is up to you to keep your kids, kids. They will have plenty of time to experience adulthood. Their childhood years are very limited. Think about it, they have 14ish years to be kids, they have 70 years to be adults. Also, allowing kids to be adult-like is too confusing. They are simply not ready for that role.
It’s ok for them to bide their time on JV sports. It’s good for them to learn to wait their turn. Plus kids who peak too early usually fail to strive for more. It’s up to you, the parent to hold the reins.
Make-up and provocative dress, again, this needs to wait until the kids are ready. I can not tell you when, but make-up can wait until high school and for God’s sake, never encourage a sexy top until she is ready to graduate high school. It’s really a good thing to be an old-fashioned Mom. Later the kids brag about Mom and Dad being mean.
There may come a time when your teen stops sharing his world. She may not share news about friends, or what she’s doing socially. Don’t be surprised. It’s natural. However, when kids stop talking, parents must pay closer attention to the kid’s coming and goings. Parents, who have a sense of their kid’s activities, are better prepared to stop bad behavior before it gets out of hand.
All the fun your kids had this summer will be the topic of conversation in years to come. Kids’ memories are of activities, not toys or gadgets. Never have I heard kids reminisce about their video games, or music systems. Unless of course, they battled for them. Childhood memories come from fun – physical memories, the cold lake swims, physical challenges, swimming in the rain, bike trips, the list goes on.
If you want your money well spent, save it for family fun. Take day trips, take the kids to the park, rent a house on the water or a cabin in the mountains, buy a swimming pool. Invest your money on your family.
You’ll get your money back in years to come when your grandchildren join the supper table. The future grandkids will hear about what you gave your kids. Plus, it’s likely, the activities that made your kids so happy, will be the ones they give to their kids. Keep your bag packed, because you’ll be invited to make new memories.
I wish I had thought of this when I had school-age kids. When buying school supplies, give your children the budget. If they have a given amount to spend, you will likely find they are thoughtful spenders. Your kids will likely stretch the dollar, knowing there’s a limit to the spending.
Give it a try. Classroom supplies may become far more functional and less flashy, saving them money. Kids may gravitate to the sale racks, since almost no kid needs winter clothes for the start of school. Sneakers and backpacks may also be more conservative, knowing there’s a budget. Here’s a novel idea, kids may even decide they can wear the clothes or use leftover school supplies from last semester, thus stretching their dollar further.
If you are like I used to be, school shopping included negotiating, arguing and I finished broke, and worn out. If I were smarter, my kids would have spent more thoughtfully. They would have figured a way to get what they wanted and needed, all the while, wasting less money. After all, it’s a lot harder to spend your own money than someone else’s.
Many parents would be surprised to find their children refuse to stand for the Pledge to the Flag in school. The child claims it’s his/her right to refuse. That is true. However, every parent should know if the family name is associated with that position. Some families don’t mind. I have a feeling more families do care.
The very best part of a kid’s school year is summer vacation. Parents, PLEASE, refrain from telling the kids you dread the days he or she is home from school. Can you imagine, your mom or dad telling you they’d rather you were in the care of strangers? That sentiment does nothing for a child’s confidence. So, this summer, let the kids know how much you appreciate their presence.
This is God’s honest truth. At the end of the summer, my mom would tell us 5 kids how lonely she was when we went back to school. That made us feel important. That made us feel loved. To this day, it made my mother my angel. Just trust me. It’s important to tell your kid you like them around. In fact when parents utter the words, ‘I can’t wait for school to start’, it says volumes about the parents. …and not in a good way.
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