Education in the USA will never compete globally until school time can be dedicated to academics, instead of parenting.  Schools teach stranger danger, healthy eating, bicycle safety, safe dating, proper diet, drug education, anti-bullying, the hazards of the Internet…actually there are too many to list.  In traditional countries, parenting is done at home and students learn academics in school.   Schools are expected to combat every societal ill.   Can you imagine what can be accomplished if we taught academics full time?   U.S. kids are equally capable as kids in other countries.  The focus of our educational system is not. 

Kids are not getting fat on school lunches. The students eat their school meals and spend the rest of the day busy.  The truth is, kids are getting fat on the processed foods they eat on the couch doing sedentary activities, at home.  Too many kids don’t even eat a traditional meal at home.  The pressure is on schools to improve the food.  The pressure should be on parents to focus energy on healthy home foods. I do agree, schools should serve healthy meals.

I believe it’s good to eliminate unhealthy snack machines.  Schools do have a responsibility in that regard.  However, we neglect to hold parents responsible for childhood obesity.  We blame schools for obesity.  We blame fast food establishments for obesity.  We blame the snack industry for obesity.  I have to tell you.  We’ve had those industries since I was a kid and we didn’t have the obesity epidemic as we do now.  Something else has changed.  That’s parenting.

The long of it all:   Many kids only eat supper at home and this is where they’re loading calories.  Kids have told me, their supper consists of the stuff they get from the freezer and heat in the microwave.  They then go back to the couch or their room to have their supper.  There is no sit down as a family in too many households.

Now I understand many families are on limited budgets; however chicken is healthy and reasonably priced.  Veggies can be found frozen if fresh is too expensive.  There are plenty of ways to eat on a budget.  The issue is caring enough to plan healthy meals. If a parent is interested in her children, she will find a way to feed them, being mindful of nutrition. I know that for a fact. Tossing heat and serve foods at the kids shows a parent’s lack of concern for diet and no doubt more expensive than taking the time to prepare the food.

Again, the simple issue here is society expects schools to fix the issue in the limited time they have the kids.  Parents who subscribe to that mentality are not doing their jobs.  The more schools do for kids, the less parents do for their own children.  Childhood obesity is not as much about poverty as it is about neglectful parenting.

I welcome commentary.

Colleges and college loans are big business. Think to the future when choosing a college, which requires a loan.

Short version:

Stay away from student loans as much as possible.

Colleges are popping all over. They’re now big business.

College loans are fairly easy to get, but hard to pay back.

College loans may NEVER be discharged, even in bankruptcy.

College debt may very well cripple a young person’s life.

The explanation:

When I got out of college, I had 12k in school loans and began a career making 12k.

Those were the days when, for most kids, an education guaranteed a job and a competitive wage.   Much to the surprise of many, education is no longer a guarantee for neither the wage nor the job. In fact, with easily accessible school loans, a college education may set-up the young adult for staggering debt.

Case in point. Angie attended college believing her lucrative career choice would earn her a good salary. What Angie did not realize was, her popular career was glutted and hard to find, not to mention, the starting wage would be much lower than anticipated.

The biggest problem, which plagues Angie, is her crippling monthly school loan payment. With ease, Angie borrowed the money for her education, of course thinking she would earn the big bucks to pay it off. You see, her career is a top earning job, but that’s after 15 years. Knowing the future potential, the lenders were happy to give the money, plus the college touted the earning potential. No one ever told Angie it would take a long time to make the money. Truly a starry eyed young person.

It has been a very difficult time for Angie and after 5 years of graduation, she is beginning to afford the basics of living. Endless money worries have kept her awake at night. Trust me. Your child’s worries become yours.

A worse case scenario, Milo was the apple of his parents’ eyes. He was incredibly bright, but he was a marginal student in high school. He went to the college of his choice, taking out student loans to achieve his goals. Two years later, Milo continued to search for his goals, leaving his dream college for a local school. After long, he did not find his dream, and dropped out of school all together. He was $40K in debt with no degree. That’s terrible!

Do you want this for your child? You can ease this problem for your child. Here’s the biggest deal, YOU must be very involved when your child is making financial decisions. Your child will never believe that loans will haunt him for many years, making his future much more difficult.

My humble suggestions:

Apply for every grant and scholarship available.  However, for most people, school loans are a must. So you must borrow with the future debt in mind. Angie now wished she did.

Unless you have the money to send your child to the school of his choice, your child should be attending a “good bang for the buck”. State schools and community colleges are the answer in many cases. Of course every college bound high school grad wants the status of a prestigious school. I want to drive a Tesla. So what?! If it’s out of budget, the loans will no doubt come back to haunt. The future sleepless nights are not worth it. Not to mention the hit on his credit score and any chance of getting financing for necessities.

Here’s the biggest kicker. There was a time when schools were a service to mankind. Now schools are big business. Colleges are popping up at an alarming rate because they know college money is fairly easy to come by. The biggest secret about school loans, school loans may never be discharged unless the person dies. Never! Not even bankruptcy. Again, a person MAY NEVER default on student loans. The borrower may even get collection calls on his deathbed.

Crazy, huh? We send our kids to college to better their future, and then we tie them down with staggering debt. Be smarter than the system.

Encourage college if ,and only if, your child wants to go. Find free money. If no free money exists, find the college which offers a good education and is a good value. Again, community colleges and state schools usually fit these criteria.

Take this advice for your child’s future. If you doubt my words, ask college grads who have college loans. Most will tell you the college loans impact the basics of life, dependable transportation, safe living environment, and even decent food. Often they will tell you they wished they’d gone to college with less debt.

****The people are real. Names were changed to protect the embarrassed. I don’t know about Milo, but I know for a fact Angie looks back on her decisions and says to Mom and Dad, “I wished I’d listened.” ****

****** Co-signer- the lending institution will be sending that payment book before your kid can get a job. So be prepared to make the payment. Oh, if you don’t, your credit rating is impacted.

Everyone remembers the kid in class who never had his homework done, and often was the class clown.  Most of us didn’t know he or she was often the most intelligent kid in the class.  Grades are not the sole indication of a child’s intelligence.

You may have a kid who is failing in school, but is one heck of a great kid at home. The reason is simple.  He is a hands-on kid.  He is no less intelligent; he just wants to use his intelligence to “do” something.  He may also be a risk taker.  A kid who loves to challenge every hill and gully.

I can just hear Christopher Columbus’s mom yelling at him as he’s testing if his boat was going to fall off the edge of the earth.  He was a thinker. He didn’t follow the mindset of the day.  He was a risk taker. 

Risk takers do not like to sit at a desk.  They like to use their knowledge as they acquire it.  So, what do you do if you have a kid who hates school?

 My son was that very student.  He hated everything School.  For his entire career he challenged the teacher and his parents.  Every single year was a battle that he ultimately lost.  He had to go to school and he had to pass.  Period.  That’s the secret of schooling a hands-on kid.  There’s no choice. 

If you have a reluctant student, you must send him to school each day with a foot against his butt.  His only job is to pass his courses. Period.  Non-negotiable.   His studies might be a challenge, but to get him through, you must stay in contact with the teacher and push Junior to do what’s expected.

 Here’s a simple rule of thumb.  Always believe the adult.  In the entire 13 years of education, this approach only failed on me once.  Junior was less likely to tell me a BS story.  You know what I mean.  As kids, we tell the story with enough truth not to implicate ourselves.  Parents are so busy; they just believe the first story they hear so if Junior gets home first, we’re likely to believe him.  Be careful that you don’t fall into that trap.  A kid who is successful at telling his parents half-truths will never be successful in school.

 No matter what you think of education, your kid must have one.  Support the process of education.  If something doesn’t seem right, contact school in a calm, listening manner.   Education is the prep for life.

 Please feel free to comment on this or any other post. 

Rule 5:  You should have regular contact with school. It is even more important if your child is not achieving according to his ability. 

No doubt you’ve received midterm reports and report cards.  That information is a signal of your need to be involved in his education.  Again, if your child is doing well, you may not need to contact school. 

If the grades and commentary are not good, you MUST get more involved.  Contact the school immediately and begin an educational plan. Be the parent who wants to know the truth.  If you’re of the “Not My Kid” mentality, you can be certain your child will be ‘playing you’ every step of the way.  If your child knows you will believe the adult at school, she will think twice about conning you.  I know this first hand.

 A few years back, one of my students challenged me on a daily basis.  His smart mouth was something I could handle, but when it impacted the other students and his grades, I’d contact home.  It was refreshing to see his changed attitude the next day.  The parents believed me over their son. They provided a consequence, which forced a change in Junior’s behavior.    He returned to class the next day a different kid.  The student and I would even laugh that he wasn’t the kid from the day before.   Even now, I smile when I see those parents.  They were still able to impact their son no matter how big he was for his britches.  That’s parenting!

Severe cold sometimes mandates school closing.  Like any other operation, schools cannot cancel the day with every cold blast.   Therefore, it’s important that parents provide proper dress for the weather. It’s amazing the number of parents who scream about their child walking to school or waiting for the bus in severe weather, when those very children arrive at school in hoodies and flip-flops or bedroom slippers.  

It’s important to understand that the north gets extreme weather and as a parent you have a responsibility to make certain your child dress warmly. You can never guarantee the passage home will be warm.   Case in point, today I witnessed a kid crawling out of a snow covered ditch after his car slid off the road. He was wearing his pajamas.  Not the attire for cold weather, much less climbing through the snow bank. 

The kids may fight you about dressing warmly. You need to be the adult and insist.  Plenty of fashionable stuff is made for the cold weather. 

There’s no doubt your child received tech toys for Christmas or Hanukkah. It’s a good thing in many ways.  However, it’s time for play.  It’s time to send your child out the door, to expel energy.  That’s good for her too.  

If your household is like mine, there have been an abundance of ‘goodies’ for the Christmas break.  Those calories need to be spent; so outside your child should go.  Bundle her up if it’s cold, secure the safe spot for play, and let him or her go!  I’m not just talking about little kids, teens need this break too.

You will see the value of the exercise in your child’s personality, sleep patterns and general health.    There’s another upside of play.  It allows her to use her own God-given gift, imagination.  Most importantly, kids who know how to play without a uniform, coach, or parent, will be better able to face the grown-up world of play.

~Remember~ Safety is always first, and good judgement as a parent prevails.