The child, who attends school regularly, is likely to succeed.  A chronically absent student spends so much time catching up on studies she missed; her chance of mastering any of the current material is pretty low.  Sadly, this child never experiences a solid, educational footing.   And whose fault is that child’s attendance?  It’s the parent’s fault.  As the adult in charge, a parent is expected to provide the inspiration to get the child to school.

Here’s the most ridiculous part.  Given the new standards, the teacher is now evaluated on the ineffective parenting.  In other words, if the kid does not come to school, and thus preforms poorly, that teacher’s evaluation is negatively impacted.  That is a huge injustice.

School counselors, principals and teachers are now spending hours a day coaching parents in ways to get their kids to school.  How does the school have the time to teach academics when they are also teaching parents to parent?

AND, as always, if there is a problem in school, the parent must address it with the district.

***Holy Moley is always interested in your feedback.  Feel free to ask questions as well. ***

Accept your child as she or he is.  With that affirmation, a child is better capable of taking on the ugliness of the world.

No matter what our hopes are for our children, often, who they are does not match a parent’s expectation.  When we don’t see the behavior or personality we expect, we mourn who our children aren’t.  This is wrong.   Think about that for a minute.

We mourn who are children are not.  Really???

Intrinsically, our children are who they are supposed to be.   If we make that child feel bad for being herself, what energy does she have to conquer the world?

The only demand you have of your child’s propensity is to be an honest, ethical, upstanding member of the community.

There is no greater love a child has for a parent than to be loved unconditionally.

Nearly everyone has experienced bullying.  It’s a nasty problem, but realistically, it’s unavoidable.  There are just mean people who raise mean kids.  In many cases, outside forces can stop it, but in some rare cases, nothing schools or police agencies do will stop bullying.  But you may be able to.   Adults in the home can quickly address Cyber bullying.

First and foremost, stay aware of your child’s coming and going.  Once you know about the problem, for goodness sake, take action. You are the adult!  Immediately change the phone number of your child’s phone.  Unplug the computer.  If necessary, take the phone from your child.  Stop the bully’s access to your child via electronics.  You have the power and the responsibility to do this.  I repeat, you are the parent, be the adult!   IF POSSIBLE, call the parents of the bully.  If that doesn’t work, ask for help from outside organizations.   You must show your child how to be proactive. You cannot expect others to fix your home problem.  By attacking the problem immediately, your child sees how to empower himself.   She understands that she does not have to be a powerless victim.

If your child is bullied in person, you have to teach your child how to handle it based on your family code.  Teach your child to ignore the bully, as hard as it is, walk away. Ignoring the bully usually deflates his attack.   If any physical contact is made, if physical violence is threatened, then you must contact proper authorities.  To assume others can fix your problem is only avoiding parenting when it’s most important.

Above all, you must talk to your child. Make sure he or she knows others’ negative opinions are not important; those comments have no validity.  You must help your child with his self worth. It is so important for your child to know how much he or she is loved and valued.  If a child knows this, she will be better prepared to handle negative commentary in general.  No, it is never easy to deal with a bully, but self-worth is a powerful tool.  It’s harder to be a victim if one has self-worth.   If necessary, do not hesitate to seek outside help.

This is an old saying, but it’s something a kid holds on to.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”

When you are deciding on private schools, you must take into consideration the quality of the education.  This is especially important in the lower grades.

At some point, your child may need to transition to the public schools.  Transition will be much smoother if the private school’s standards are in line with your state’s standards.  Choosing a school based how nice and friendly they are may serve your child poorly as he meets her peers later.

I have experienced private school children who were well prepared for the move to public school.  However, I’ve also spoken with parents who said, “If I had known how much my kids would be behind when I transferred to public schools, I would never have sent them to XYZ private school.”    So, here’s an easy check.  Ask several parents who’ve made the transition.  When you’ve discussed it enough, you’ll have a better idea if that school is worth the extra money.

If you have a child with special needs, think 1,000 times before you send her to a general ed private school.    This does not apply to a specialized school for the handicapped.

Cuddling comforts us,  grounds us, and gives us the strength to persevere.  Never stop doing this!  Take time to cuddle your child.  The best time is in the evening.  Watch TV together, read a book together and cuddle.  Wind down after the busy day.   Cuddling is the best communication of your love.  As kids get older, they’ll be resistant but if they are used to it, they’ll at least hug.   The energy of your heart will help your child conquer the world.