Month: September 2013

Mealtime Benefits – Answer

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Mealtime is so much more than filling the belly.

For many of us, serving bowls of our favorite foods are imprinted on our souls.The supper table showed someone cared enough to make sure our stomachs were filled, and in the process, our spirit was renewed.

All the benefits of the supper table may shock you.

While food feeds the body and soul, the table itself plays an impressive role in forming our personalities and place in the world.

Prepare to be impressed by that simple table.

 Your place at the table means you are in integral part of a family, a community, a thriving unit.  You fill the circle.  You’re needed at that table for that circle to be complete.  When your seat is empty, you’re missed!   This is the same whether your table is five people or two.

The set table teaches that everything in life has structure.  You learn there’s a specific way of doing everything.  The table is set appropriate to a standard and it’s good to learn the standard first.  When you have the occasional casual meal, it’s fun, a treat.

Tasty food.   This not only fills your stomach, it touches the heart, fills the soul and lifts your spirit.

Dinnertime talk.   It’s here that you learn your thoughts are important.  Bouncing ideas from one person to the other allows bigger plans, finer thoughts, goals for the future.

You listen.  This teaches respect of others and their opinions, tolerance.

You must to sit.  This teaches self-control. This is important for school.

You’re mannerly.  “Manners are the quality of the heart.”  Manners elevate you.

You cooperate.  As you pass the platters and bowls, you’re exchanging for the good of the whole.  Every moment of your life outside the house requires this skill.

Say a prayer or a comment of gratitude.  This wakes us to our blessings.

Meal Duties Whoever gets home first starts supper. I got home before Mom and you bet there was a note for me to ‘peal’ potatoes, put roast in, whatever needed done to help expedite dinnertime.  Gosh, I hated those notes!  I wanted to be lazy.  Mom wouldn’t allow that!

EVERYONE cleans the kitchen before life in the house resumes.  Even a three year old can bring the napkins to the garbage.  If kids can feed themselves, they can have a role in cleanup. Growing up on a farm however, the kitchen was the girls’ job because the boys did the farm chores.  As long as the workload is fair, it’s good.

 The Meal

Food should be mostly favorites.  The food does not need to be fancy.  Your supper menu should be a draw.  It’s in our DNA to be excited for our family foods.  Make the things your kids like.  Sometimes the meal is not as popular as expected.  There were rare times when what I cooked was not a crowd pleaser.  So what?  I let them have cereal.  My husband did not like it, but it was not a battle I found that important.  Believe me, our kids learned to eat everything.  Supper should be a pleasant time.  Make it that way.

Sometimes I adjusted the menu for the kids.   We love our macaroni.  However, our kids preferred butter macaroni, so there was one bowl of butter macaroni for the kids and macaroni with sauce for the adults.  Our kids didn’t like tomatoes in the salad, so they didn’t have to eat the tomatoes in the salad, just the lettuce and cucumbers.

There are a few rules.  If the kids do not eat supper, there is no dessert, no snacks.  Just cover the plate, put it on the stove and when they’re hungry, they’ll eat.  No junk food until.

Another thing, don’t make the kid stay at the table ‘until the plate’s cleaned’.  When supper’s over, clean up and move on.  Most kids can survive a night of stubbornness, going to bed hungry.

Phones off, even adults!  Suppertime is sacred time.  It’s only 30-45 minutes.

What about the nights of sports and lessons?  Well, frankly, if it’s only a few nights of the week that you toss a pizza in the backseat as you chauffer the kids around, it’s fine.   But if it’s most of the week, I will ask one question.  In the end, will this running reap the benefits you desire for your child?

You can take this one to the bank!  Your kids will realize the importance of the supper table years later.  Most of your children’s, family stories will come from that table.

****The following anecdote demands telling.****

When our children were very little, my family experienced a deadly, traffic accident.  I needed to travel from NY to California to retrieve my gravely, injured mother.  Gone for several days, my husband took over the duties without skipping a beat and one was cooking, something he never did.  One meal was Hamburger Helper.  The kids had never had it and they loved it!  Thinking I had a new favorite, I tried to make it after.  You know, I could never duplicate that meal. It was never as good as Dad’s.

As I reflect, I realize, it wasn’t the dish that so appealed to their hunger.   It was their Dad’s ability to provide the normalcy at that table when their world was upside down.   That meal meant a portion of their life was still normal, safe, secure.

You kitchen table will be the glue that holds your family together.

 So what’s on the menu?  Hot dogs and mac and cheese, of course!  Chicken fingers, fries?  Go for it.   Just not every day of the week.  Please be mindful of health.  Kids like corn, cucumbers, celery, and carrots.  Expose them to all veggies.  Do your best to have them try just one bite of something new.

Here are a few easy Palacios favorites:

Two-Hour Chicken.  On Sunday, put a double serving of whole chicken pieces in the oven at 250 degrees for two hours, salted/pepper/garlic.  After first hour, put in the potatoes to bake.  At the end of the two hours the chicken will be falling off the bone.

Sunday dinner will be the baked chicken and baked potatoes.

When the chicken is cool, debone chicken.

Cream Chicken. Tomorrow, you’ll make a white cream sauce with 2% milk; add a chicken bouillon cube, a can of corn and chicken.  I serve over this recipe over toast points. This is our kids’ absolute favorite meal of all time.    This is a 15-minute meal after a long workday.

EASY Beef.  When you leave for work, put a whole, frozen, chuck steak in a pan, season as you like, cover with foil and leave on 175-200 degrees for the entire day.  When you get home the meat will be falling off the bone and a ton of juice.  Make gravy and have a portion of the meat with gravy.  Tomorrow shred the meat and have tacos.  Easy and family favorites!

 

Mealtime is Extremely Important!

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What do you remember your family’s suppertime or foods?

If you I ask my husband about his mother’s food, wonderful feelings surround her homemade pizza.  It was the best time to bring his buddies home so he could show off his mama’s homemade pizza.  As far as he was concerned, her spaghetti sauce was magical.

Mine was coming home to dowels loaded with freshly, fried donuts, dripping glaze.  Mom always made mouth-watering, labor-intensive desserts, which would finish our meals.  I envied kids who had rice crispy treats and brownies. Nowhere in my Sicilian and Polish home would you find a brownie or rice crispy treat.   On the properly set, supper table was the most sumptuous meal made with quality ingredients and much love.  Now, here’s the news!  On his properly set table, nothing matched: not dishes, glasses or nor silverware, but it was laid out appropriately.  We found nothing odd with not having napkins per se.  We had a “mopina” (dishtowel)  or two which we passed between seven people.  It was fine.  We ate carefully I guess.

Why is this blog entry about food?  Mealtime is very important to your child’s identity.  I will explain this in the next blog entry.  

Your assignment:                                                                                                                                                                              Begin sitting around that thing in the kitchen, called the table.  If you already do, great!  Here’s the best part. The meal doesn’t have to be homemade, even take-out works.  Just make sure there’s an effort to place things in serving dishes, (soup bowls, dishes), anything but the pan or package.  Talk about their day and yours.  

If dinner is provided before you get the kids home, then plan to sit at the table with some type of snack.  If the snack doesn’t require utensils, just put out a dish, napkin and serve the snack on dish.  No paper plates.  Open the cupboard door and take out a dish.   This small, sit-down time must be deliberate.  I promise it is important.  NO electronics.

Finally, require the kids to help with clean up after the meal.  The task should be appropriate to their ages. Please just trust me on this one.  Set the table, sit at the table and discuss everyone’s day, especially yours. 

OH YES!  You may have battle, but you are the adult and it’s your house, so you’re the boss.  If your family is unaccustomed to setting together, time together may be a short at first, but make sure you insist on sitting.  If the best you can do is get the kids at the table with the food, settle for that.  .

In a few days the explanation.   

delightful parenting!!

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I have a feeling you’ll be hearing more from Enzo and Monica.  They are really newlyweds.  Enzo, never married, has no experience as a father; however, his strong, straight-shooting approach is very impressive!  Monica made a great choice for her family.

Now the story:

Older daughter Amanda went to a concert. It was a screamo band, not Mom’s taste, but she went. While she was there Amanda texted both parents, asking if she could buy a t-shirt that said, “Stick your middle finger up, if you don’t give a F*&%.” Monica was shocked, and said absolutely not!  Enzo, said, “ yes… but don’t wear it out of the house, in front of guests, especially your grandparents.”

Fast forward a month. Monica’s dad stopped at the house.  Amanda was wearing the shirt as a nightshirt.  Before opening the door to Grandpa, Enzo told her three times, her grandfather was coming into the house. Enzo’s message was not registering. Amanda did not comprehend his warning.   Grandpa walked in, her sister elbowed her, then Amanda realized the problem. She folded the bottom of the shirt up and almost hid at the breakfast bar. Grandpa dropped off what he was there for and left.

As soon as he left, Enzo said, “Remember the rules about the shirt? Don’t ever let that happen again, or the shirt is gone.” You’re lucky this grandfather didn’t see it.  Amanda was embarrassed, offering up a lame excuse.

A week later, Monica was helping Amanda pack away clothes that she wasn’t wearing any longer. What was in the pile? None other than the concert shirt. Monica asked why she was packing it away… her answer? “It was a complete waste of money, I’m not wearing it because it just makes me look like a jerk”.   Monica was thrilled and told Enzo. He laughed and said, “Yep… sometimes you have to let them hang themselves. It was an easy lesson of other’s perspective. It only cost her $50 of her own money.”

Parenting Humor

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One secret of parenting:

Allowing your child to THINK you’ll do the unthinkable. 
My mother, on occasion, when my behavior was not up to snuff,  would threaten to come into school and give me “a licking” in front of ALL the other kids.  She never did, but I never doubted she would!

Impressive Parenting!

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 “I had to love my child enough to let her hate me.”  (Carol Burnett)

 I am proud to say, these three parents were my 8th grade students and are now my friends.  Not only do I love them for being terrific people, I admire the type of parents they’ve become. I am proud to showcase good parenting, with their permission of course.

~ Several life-changing events forced Monica to uproot her children.  To make up for this, she indulged them, allowing them to partake in multiple activities.   Soon, Monica and her husband Enzo discovered their family time was being lost to the kids’ schedules.

Monica said,”

“The kids monopolizing every day of the week seems CRAZY!!!  Enzo and I realize we have been negotiating with terrorists and letting the inmates run the asylum!”  (I’m still laughing at Monica’s comment)

 Realizing the imbalance, Monica and Enzo quickly reined in the indulgences.  The children had to make a choice.  One extra curricular along with schoolwork was a better balance.   Focusing a little less on the two children, gave the family of four a more cohesive base.  Monica and Enzo handled this situation with clarity and humor.  The best part, the kids survived.  Impressive!

 ~Anita knew her son was intelligent, but Avery’s grades were not reflecting his ability.  After a year of poor grades and issues in the classroom, Anita decided to take action.  At the beginning of the next school year, Anita adjusted her work schedule to help Avery improve his skills.

 Anita, who worked from home, snagged Avery the minute he got off the bus.  She immediately sat him at the kitchen table, reserving an hour to his homework.   This dedicated time improved his self-discipline, his schoolwork and thus positively impacted his classroom success.  Avery’s world was righted. 

 Anita was able to change her work schedule to help Avery.  Not everyone can stop work mid-day, but every parent, regardless of work hours, can dedicate undivided time to his or her child.  It is important to your child’s success. 

 Monica, Enzo and Anita allowed their kids to be disappointed, angry or maybe resentful, knowing the outcome would be positive.  It’s called being the adults, specifically being good parents.

 Not all circumstances are remedied this easily, but the point is to find the source of the problem and take corrective matters in your own hands.   You must be consistent.  I am the first one to say it’s tough when you’re working, but you must stick to program and follow through no matter how tired you are.

Nearly every kid begins going down a wrong path. Don’t be surprised.  That’s what kids do when they’re testing waters.  You simply have to jump ahead of them and guide them back on the right track.   But here’s the kicker.  Do not wait to correct wrong behavior.  The longer you wait, the bigger the task you’ll have. 

Parents, who tenderly guide their children from the beginning, most likely have an easier job of parenting as the kids grow.  It’s easier to trim a sapling than a tree.

A hug with a good-bye

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When your child leaves for school this year, send him off with a hug, a kiss, an “I love you” and a pep talk.  Kids with confidence, who know they’re loved, who know Mama/Daddy/family unit cares, have greater success in school.   That hug and those comments envelop the child, making him feeling guarded as he faces the world.

 

When she comes home, take the time to hear about her day.  These few minutes spent hearing about her day validates the importance of the school day.  !!! When you ask about the day, stop what you’re doing and dedicate the short time it takes to hear the details.  After all, if you stop everything to hear about the school day, your child will believe it must be important.  If you have a talker, lucky you!  Then you may have to make supper while Chatty Kelly or Chuck gives you every detail.