The only way to broach this next topic is in the negative.  I rewrote this passage a dozen times, but to write from the positive angle, only candy coats the issue. Simply put: by indulging children, parents may be making that child socially unacceptable.

Stark and sad, but true.             Here’s how it shakes out:  

Frankie comes to kindergarten having been allowed to do what he wants, when he wants.  He doesn’t know how to wait his turn, share, or work in a group.  He doesn’t sit still.  When he’s tired of the lesson, he gets up and does his own thing.  He screams when he’s expected to come off the playground.  If really agitated, he throws himself on the ground, stopping the entire lesson. Given these behaviors, Frankie is always in trouble. 

Like it or not, the kids think, “Frankie’s a bad boy”.  From the earliest age, little kids learn, if you do not behave, “you’re being bad”.    Now, why is Frankie a bad boy in the minds of his peers?  Because Frankie’s mom/dad, or ‘the parent unit’ as it’s now called, did not teach the social skills required for the school setting.   Every day, poor little Frank must either sit in time out, can’t play with the others at playtime, or has to have a quiet discussion with the teacher.  There is no doubt Frankie’s the topic of conversation in his classmates’ homes nightly.   Before you know it, Frankie is known as the bad boy, so he’s not invited to birthday parties, sleepovers or play dates.  He’s only known as the bad boy.   How unfair to set a kid up for social failure. 

In the short run, allowing a child to do what he wants, when he wants, may be easy, but the consequences for not taking the leadership role as a parent presents many difficulties for the child later on. 

Now, I know some of you want to label it ADHD.  Well, frankly, that may be true; however, a parent must attempt to teach social skills before that diagnosis can be discussed.